Heaven and earth

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size
6 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side.

And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its
99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that? "And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs.

This is hilarious! Be sure to read the warning at the bottom. I didn't change a word! I'm not messing with the Sex Fairy!

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.

2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.

3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.

4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!

5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.

6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!

7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.

8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.

9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.

10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.

Now sex has been sent to you. The "Hot Sex Fairy" will visit you within four days of receiving this message, provided you, in turn, send it on.

If you don't, then you will never receive good sex again for the rest of your life. You will eventually become celibate, and your genitals will rot and fall off.

This is no joke! Send copies to people you think need sex (who doesn't?). Don't send money, as the fate of your genitals has no price.

ON PHYSICAL FITNESS

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer. That's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable) and a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine. That means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is 2 to 1, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. It may allow you six more months on a nursing home in diapers. My philosophy is: No Pain . . . Good

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO ..... Cocoa beans .another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets, and remember, "Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive, well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways -- Chardonnay in one hand, strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "Woo Hoo! What a ride!"

Video Pick of Last Week

Black Master

This INCREDIBLE video starts with a white businessman talking to a large black man on the couch. He tells the black man that is good looking wife isn't listening to him, is spending too much money and needs to be trained. The black man tells him that his fee is $300, and when he gets his wife back, he won't even know her because she will be so obedient. This is when we get to see his wife, and she IS incredible. Beautiful blonde with a knockout body, pouty lips, and she sounds like a snooty, stuck up bitch that does what she wants. She isn't too happy about being put in this situation. He tells her he is her MASTER now, and she is going to learn to be obedient. This is when the fun starts :) She says she wants to get out of there, so he puts her over his knee and spanks her beautiful ass in tight jeans. He then makes her strip revealing her full tits, shaved pussy and her black stockings underneath. Soon he has her doing whatever he says, and she is sucking his big black cock and making her crawl across the floor and beg for his cock. He refers to her as 'Bitch' and slaps her face with his heavy black meat. She gets so horny that she begs for him to fuck her for the whole night. He demands another $500 since he will have to cancel his other 'training' appointments. He takes her to the bedroom and proceeds to fuck her like the slut she is. She is much more willing now than in the beginning, liking her new role as fuckbitch. They fuck in several positions, including her on her back with her legs on his shoulders, and get good shots of her black stocking clad feet in the air. Her black master wants to totally claim his new white slave's body, and proceeds to fuck her ass. He uses all 3 holes until he pulls out his cock and she strokes his long black meat until he deposits his black seed on her tits. Then he takes a shower and makes her get on her knees and wash his cock. Soon after, her hubby comes by to see how the training went. Just as the black master promised, she did just as she was told and sucks her hubby's cock on command until he blasts his cum all over his newly trained wife's face. This video is AWESOME, especially for those who are into the master/slave scenario. As I said before, she is very, very hot and is very unwilling at the beginning. She is transformed into his personal white whore and he fucks her good. A MUST have for your collection!
Very good quality, 80 mins.

This video is available on DVD ($20) VHS ($20).

Video choice of the week

The Training of a Cuckold
This is a home video shot by a loving white fiancé of his very hot, young blonde wife training him for years of a cuckold marriage - something most of us dream of. She is wearing tight black low cut outfit and doesn't waste any time as she crawls across the floor on her hands and knees to suck her black lover's long, thick cock. This guy is enormously hung, about ten inches and thicker than your wrist. I wonder why she likes him? LOL. He He immediately displays his dominance as he slaps his black meat on her mouth, holding her hair for speed control and face fucking her. She is stunningly pretty, with a tight knockout body. He tells her how he will take her away from her fiancé and make her his fuck slave, to which she moans and sucks faster. She loudly says she forgot how much better black cock is, and its been too long since she's had it. He repeatedly slaps his heavy meat on her mouth and she licks his large black balls. She gets on all fours on the couch and begs for him to fuck her as he slaps her ass, leaving it red. She again says how much bigger and better his cock is than her fiancé's, and how it can do things her fiancé's never can. Then there's a nice close-up of her shaved, wet pussy, her ass in the air begging for his bat sized black cock. Can you blame her? A woman as sexy as she is getting the green light to once again experience much better, orgasmic sex with a hung black man while her smaller hung white husband looks on. Throughout the video, she makes no bones about letting it be known she prefers bigger black cock over her fiance's little white thing, and all he can do is keep the tape rolling and watch her cum several times by her hung black lover. The black bull makes her look back at him as he pushes his cock inside her soon to be married pussy and slaps her ass. After a few minutes of black ownership, she starts cumming, something she never does when her white fiancé is inside of her. Looks like this is what she has been missing with white men! Then he grabs her hair really starts ramming her from behind while she says "Oh God! Oh God!" and "Oh Fuck I Love your Cock!" and she cums again. She looks right into the camera her fiancé is running and says "This is the way I like it!", then he puts her face down (Face down Ass up!) and ties her hands as he begins deep deep fucking her viciously, one hand holding her bound wrists, the other hand pulling her hair. After she cums twice more, she begins repeatedly thanking him and telling him he is her master while he continues to stretch out her pussy. He pulls out and fingers her asshole with 2 fingers to loosen it up. Then he puts a condom and and fucks her ass! After a few minutes of making sure she will never shit straight again, he pulls off the condom as she gets on her knees to provide just deserved oral worship of his big black dick.

Then, she gets close to her fiancé who is running the camera, grabs his small white dick, looks into the camera and says "Do you see this? See your white, little wimpy dick?" Then grabs her lovers much bigger, thicker cock and says "Do you see this? His is sooo much better! This is why I love black cock". HOT!! That pretty much says it all, clearly letting her fiancé know her pussy will be black owned thru-out their marriage. The way she looks into the camera when she says it, comparing their size and seeing the lust in her eyes for her lovers much bigger cock is the hottest scene I've ever witnessed!

After humiliating her white fiancé about his lack of cock size, she proceeds to suck the balls of her larger black lover while she asks him to take her to a black bar and share her with his hung black friends, what a woman! He pushes her head back and blasts his black load directly into her mouth as she rubs his balls. Then she licks the cum that got on her hand off and looks directly in the camera to show her fiancé the black cum tracks that ended up on her face. A just reward for the serious fucking she just received. Judging by the small size of her fiancé's cock, he wont feel a thing for a week *if* he even gets to fuck his soon to be wife. She takes one of the hardest, most brutal fuckings I've ever seen a woman get, and after seeing the mammoth size of his black cock, she shouldn't have any problem delivering a black baby anytime soon! An *extremely* hot video, especially for those who have cuckold fantasies, or who are lucky enough to already be in a cuckold relationship with a black owned wife!

Good Quality, 45 mins.