A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table,
gives the husband a big open-mouthed kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away.

His wife glares at him and says, "Who the hell was that?"

"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."

"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce."

"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Infinities and Lexuses in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous woman on his arm.

"Who's that woman with Jim? " asks the wife

"That's his mistress," says her husband.

"Ours is prettier," she replies.

You gotta love those Texas women...

The owner of a golf course in Texas was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Texas and I need some help. If I were to give you 20,000 dollars minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my earrings. . . "

Subject: THE BUSY BULL


A man takes his wife to the State Fair and one of the exhibits is that of
breeding bulls. They come up to the first pen and there is a sign that
says, "This Bull mated 50 times last year."

The wife pokes her husband in the ribs and says, "He mated 50 times last
year."

They walked a little further and see another pen with a sign that says,
"This Bull mated 120 times last year." The wife hits her husband and
says,
"That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."

They walk further and a third pen has a Bull with a sign saying, "This
Bull
mated 365 times last year." The wife gets really excited and says,
"That's
once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one."

The husband looks at her and says, "Go up and ask him if it was with the
same cow."

After nine surgeries and six years of therapy, the husband is now able to
talk. It is hoped that someday he will walk again.

A businessman boarded a plane to find, sitting next
to him, an elegant woman wearing the largest, most
stunning diamond ring he had ever seen. He asked
her about it.

"This is the Klopman diamond," she
said.

"It is beautiful, but there is a terrible
curse that goes with it."

"What's the curse?" the man asked.

"Mr. Klopman."

BJ Hotties

VOYEUR HUSBAND
by
WIFE WATCHER
My wife Elaine is 19, petite with long black hair, small but very firm tits and keeps her cunt shaved. She likes to have sex with strangers in strange places and in public. She gets her excitement from being used, abused and humiliated in front of people The more people who see her, the more she likes it. We had een married for a little under a year before I found out about her eccentricities. We where very happy (or so I thought) and I had no reason to suspect her of any infidelities.

That is until one day I was out of the office I had to take some papers across town and to save time I cut through a very rough neighbourhood. It was as I was driving along watching the prostitutes on the street corners, that I saw my wife walking along. I had to stop the car and take a slow, calculated look. What threw me was the way she was dressed. Normally she dresses with style, grace and dignity. Very attractive but Ladylike Now here she was dressed like a whore, short leather mini skirt, extremely low cut top, bare midriff. She had black stockings (her skirt was so short you could see the tops of the stockings) and very high heeled red shoes. I wondered what she could be doing in this rundown part of town. I decided to follow her. I locked up the car and set out on foot after her. She entered a rather seedy looking bar. I waited a few minutes, then followed her in. . . .