Subject: He fell down the stairs guv!

The SAS, the Para's and the Police are sent on a survival weekend together.
After some basic exercises, the trainer tells them their next objective is
to go down into the woods and catch a rabbit for supper, returning with it
ready to skin and cook.

Night Falls!!!!

The SAS go first, they don night vision goggles, drop to the ground crawl
into the woods in formation.
There is absolute silence for 5 minutes and then the unmistakable muffled
"phut phut" of their trademark double tap is heard.
The SAS troopers emerge with a large rabbit shot cleanly, twice between the
eyes.

Excellent remarks the instructor.

Next up - the Paras, they finish their cans of lager, smear themselves with
camouflage cream, fix bayonets and charge into the woods, screaming at the
top of their lungs. For the next hour the air is filled with the sounds of
rifle and machine gun fire, hand grenades, mortars and blood curdling
screams and war cries.
Eventually they emerge, carrying the charred remains of a rabbit.

A bit messy, but you did achieve your aim I suppose, well done says the
trainer.

Finally in go the coppers, walking slowly, hands behind backs, whistling
Dixon of Dock Green, for the next few hours the silence is only broken by
the occasional crackle
of a walkie talkie " Sierra Lima Whiskey Tango Lima One, Suspect headed
straight, go left, left, left".... etc.

After what seems an eternity, they emerge with a squirrel in handcuffs.

What the hell's that? Yells the trainer

Take this squirrel back and get me a rabbit like I asked you to 5 hours ago.


So back they go, minutes pass, minutes turn to hours, night turns to day.

The next morning the trainer and the other teams are awakened by the police
holding the handcuffed squirrel, now covered in bruises, one eye swollen
shut.

Are you taking the piss!! yells the by now seriously irate trainer.

The police team leader nudges the squirrel who squeaks: Alright, Alright,
I'm a fucking RABBIT.